Allow yourself to love and be loved.

The scary part about opening your heart wide and truly letting someone into your life is the awareness that they might leave you and disappear. 

It’s no coincidence that it’s called being "heartbroken." The physical pain that arises from a breakup, a conflict, or losing someone you love feels like your heart has been put in a car crusher—while you’re still alive. You feel it throughout your whole body. Truly loving someone comes at a price.

Is it really so strange that many people protect themselves from letting others in deeply?

No, it’s not strange at all. Human instinct is to protect ourselves from anything that threatens our survival. Investing in deep and meaningful relationships means risking both your emotional and mental well-being—and it can hurt physically. Our built-in defense mechanisms take over.

With these risks, does that mean we should avoid forming deep and meaningful relationships?Of course not. While there is a significant risk, our mental health depends on feeling connected, having purpose, and being part of something greater.

Elena Rossi, a brilliant woman I once had the honor of podcasting with, said something wise to me: “You are a reflection of the five closest people in your life.” 

That made me reflect on the kind of people I want to have around me. It’s not always easy to know, and you need to experiment to understand who you truly want close. It takes time and requires its own process. And not everyone will stay in your life forever. Either they change, or you do—your needs and preferences evolve along with your own journey.

When you meet someone new, think of it like dating. Take it at your own pace. You don’t have to go home with someone on the first date or share your entire life story right away.

Take small steps, especially if you struggle to find balance.

But how do you know who to let in and who to keep out?

Only you can know that. There’s no answer key. Life, in general, doesn’t come with a manual—though sometimes it would be easier if it did. You will step on landmines, make mistakes, and learn from them. Believe me, I have! You have to dare to throw yourself into it, trust your gut feeling, and experiment. Life isn’t a walk in the park. It’s through trial, play, and exploration that you’ll learn who you want by your side. Through experiences in past relationships, you’ll discover what you want—and what you don’t want. What makes you feel good and what doesn’t.

Relationships matter. They create connection and help you get closer to yourself through others. And yes, it’s a risk to throw your heart into the hands of a friend or a partner.

But let life take its course and stay open to what comes your way. When you do, you’ll be surprised by the people who walk alongside you on your path—even if only for a while.

Some may take a different road and continue their journey elsewhere, while others might walk by your side for life. And sometimes, someone who once left might find their way back.

If I sound confident in what I write, as if this is all easy for me, it’s not. Even now, I still find it terrifying when someone new becomes important to me.

The only thing I know for sure is that I need to love the people in my life as much as I can, right now.

Because without that, life feels pretty empty.